The Closet

Soft, smooth and supple. Thats how you would define her. Strangely, her skin called out to you, making you wonder how it would feel in your hands. The taut jawline stretched over to an etched face, rounded bosom and the oh so delicate flat stomach. The curved belly and the stretched smooth skin. She looked perfect, sitting there on the chair with one leg folded...all confident of her own sexuality. Would she ever have to even doubt if she was desirable...guess not. Was it that confidence that made her so?
Whatever it was, she looked breathtakingly beautiful in that white bikini top and the skimpy bottoms. You could but only feel jealous of the man who sat next to her, caressing her and smiling at her. Even if you wanted to, you could not forget the vision of her, stretched on that beach chair, still wet and even though she was with another man, you so wanted to reach out and just touch those glistening beads of water that clung to her still. How would it be like to touch her?  To feel her body move beneath your hands....the touch of her skin against your fingers...the breasts...heaving as you undid the white strings....

"What's wrong?" The words invaded her thoughts and she looked up at him. His breathing was still ragged but the satisfaction was not there in his face. He looked all perplexed. Shaking her head she touched his face gently.
"Nothing darling."
"Well...you were thinking something..."
She smiled and felt the image of the woman invade her thoughts again. An object of desire and perfection. Her body, glistening under the sun, at the club today. And then she imagined how her lips would  part in the sweet surrender to ecstasy. Strangely she was aroused...unbearably so. She looked back at her husband and pushed him aside, swiftly moving on top of him.
He was still looking at her when she smiled at him....
"My turn..."

The morning sun...

"You look tired..." he said and she looked at him. It had been a wild crazy night. After years he had been dancing the whole night with a woman...a stranger and though nothing had happened...he felt exhausted. It was a lovely feeling and it was all over his face...happiness and contentment.
"Just sleepy," she murmured and before he knew her head was on his lap. They were still at their friends' place and the party was over. Binod had long gone to his room with Nidhi and Ashish was lounged on the couch across the room. Everyone else had left and after hours of dancing and drinking they had finally called it.
He still could not believe that the woman he had met just hours ago was resting her head on his lap. He looked down at her dark head, long dark hair, spread on his thighs. She moved and put her feet up, nesting her head in his lap and he was stirred. She looked up at him, her eyes red with effects of alcohol, pleading and urging.
"Honey you are drunk..."
"And you are a gentleman?" She asked, mockingly.
That was invitation enough and his mouth came hard on hers. She moaned and he plunged deeper, feeling her perfume mingled with the smell of vodka arouse him. Without knowing he was urgent as his hands reached for her breasts, firm and supple under the black top. And she responded. He could hardly believe that the night could get any wilder but it did and twenty minutes later he was all but convinced he was in love. Gripped in satisfaction he closed his eyes and slept...a very happy man.

She tiptoed her way back to the bedroom. Bathed now, she smelled of faint lavender. Removing her towel she got in the bed besides him and snuggled up to him. He moved, aware of her scent.
"What time is it?"
"Just about 5." She said and he turned towards her. He was wearing his shorts and smiled as her hand moved up his thighs.
"I take it the ladies night out was nice..."
She looked at him as his eyes fluttered open.
"It was fun....yes,"
"Nice..." he replied and she kissed him gently on his chest...
"But not half of what i am about to have now..."
As she slided down in the covers he had only one thought...he was the luckiest husband in the whole wide world!

Crossroads...

He looked across the coach to find her sitting in the usual place, her book open in her lap. But for some reason she was not reading it today. She looked up, saw him and smiled. They had met on this coach a few months ago, and the polite smiles had eventually led to good mornings and then conversations. She was older than him…not much, perhaps 5 or at max seven years, but she excited him. The last month they had broken the ice and now he considered that they were more than just acquaintances. Everything about her pleased him. The way she dressed, the way she talked and even the way she smelled. Of course she was married, but no one said you could not desire a person. And if the person was so exceptional…it was almost a crime not to desire her.

Walking close to her he realized that she had not saved him the seat, which she had started doing for the past week. She looked at him and shrugged. She was wearing a saree today and he felt aroused.

“You are looking very nice today.” He offered and she smiled back at him. “Anything special today?”

“Nothing. I guess I just felt like it.” She said and looked back at her book. Hanging on for the support he looked at her head, bent on the book. She seemed to sense his eyes on her and marking the page she closed the book and looked at him. Her eyes were shadowed and there was just a little frown on her forehead. Something seemed to flicker in the depths and then she stood up, moving close to him and grabbing the handrail. He smiled and realized that she had given way to a very pregnant woman…who smiled gratefully and parked herself on the seat vacated by her. He felt silly for thinking she had done this on purpose…She turned now and was standing with her back towards him. He could smell her perfume and could not help but look at her bare back, the small curves enhanced by the saree, hiding enough but enticing in more ways than one. He felt his body stir in response as hers’ swayed closer to his. His mind was wondering without wanting to, treading the dangerous path of not really getting anything in return. He wondered how her skin felt, how it would be to press her body against his. Aroused, he sharply inhaled and concentrated on her head. And then it happened - the metro jerked forward and came to a halt at the junction. That was hardly for two seconds but she lurched forward and his hand came instinctively to grab her waist, only to steady her. And she was as smooth as he expected…soft velvety skin, still supple. He didn't mean to but it was done before he could stop himself and he pulled her closer…She turned, his hand still on her waist and looked at him. It went through his body like a shock and he apologetically removed his hand. He knew that she knew and felt a strange trepidation fill him. He licked his lips and without wanting his face was writ with apology. Only one thought crossed his mind then…Should he apologize? Should he try and explain? And then his heart skipped a beat. It was barely a step…just one step but she moved back, her body touching his’ ever so slightly. He frowned and then she looked back and he stared at her face. There was no anger on it, nor irritation…just amusement. He smiled and she smiled back. 

Through the door...

She should have looked away, should have simply backed out and yet she felt she could not. The moment had come and gone and she did not stop it. Before she knew she was hugging him, holding him tight, feeling his cologne fill her senses as his hands felt her back. There was no urgency in him...just a confidence that both scared and excited  her. She felt him push her back and saw him reach for the buttons on his shirt. That was perhaps another good time for her to stop him but she still did not. Instead she found she could not turn away. And she should have.....how could she? She was a married woman...and yet...there she was...in a room with another man...
"I can't," she said and he nodded...
"I understand. All I am asking of you is to hug me...that's all..."
Raagini felt him close the distance and shock went through her whole being. She was still fully dresed and yet she felt naked. He just held her close and she could feel his warm skin sear her even through the blouse....uncomfortable by her own body's reaction she turned around and distanced herself from him.
"I..." but her words were stopped short as his hands came round from behind and his body crushed hers against the wall...she closed her eyes then...knowing that at this moment she did not want to think. His hands were on her waist now, tugging on the shirt, pulling it loose. She felt his fingers find her skin, sending rude shocks through her. Paralysed on the spot she waited as he inched his hand up her waist and cupped her right breast...

The door squeaked and she opened her eyes with a start.
"Sorry...did I wake you up?"
Raagini felt sweat break on her forehead as confusion gripped her. She was still warm...her heart was still wildly thudding in her chest...
"You okay?" He asked again, his face shadowed in the dim light...but his face. She was in her room...her bed...with her husband....it had been a dream...
"Just a dream..." she murmured, her face still flushed and warm.
Raagini nodded and turned around as tears filled her eyes with misery and shame...misery because she loved her husband...there was no one but him...and shame bacause she could not be completely honest if she was crying at the fact that it was only a dream or because it was just a dream.....

Religion has nothing to do with it

I have kept quiet as people talked on and on about the happenings around the world. The Peshawar School Incident...the Charlie Hebdo Office...the on going battles at the border...the terrorism and the un-ending fear. And in the midst the chatter I heard people talking about the radical outlook of religions...what is right...what is wrong...how much is okay...how much isn't!

Seriously....leave the people to their beliefs...religion has nothing to do with it.

I don't want to wake up one day and have to explain to my child what my God expects out of us! I only want to tell him...be a good human being, respect your elders, love the children...and just be TOLERANT.
It is okay if someone believes in being a vegetarian...if someone finds drinking wrong...if some person believes in fasting to show your devotion. The fact is...religion gives us a semblance of belonging...a way we can continue to live...and be guided. My husband once very patiently corrected me...Human Beings in general need a Guru...a Guide...a Mentor. Basicallly...someone to tell you what to do, what is right and how to go about it. Very few are led by their own free will...majority simply find it simpler to be told. Now you might want to be told by your parents...your teachers...your spiritual gurus...or the old scriptures that we have turned into "Religions!" but essentially it is all very simple.. when nothing else works...we look for answers in the universe around us and if religion does that for me...I say brilliant!

Stop asking people to not be afraid...or question the tenet of this/that religion...instead simply educate people. Let's work on creating a society where we are truly guided by love and humanity. Let us teach our children to be Tolerant...because that is the premise of love and humanity. Reach out to the world at large...the empty expanse and just be tolerant.

I believe in God...does it exist? I don't know. But I believe that I am looked after, loved and cared for. What name I give to my god hardly matters...my religion has nothing to do with my thought process...my education on the other hand has everything to do with it. Growing up I was not taught about castes, religions, societies or cultural heritage...I was taught about science, history, art, maths and languages. I reach out to the Bhagwad Gita today not under any spiritual devotion but rather as a curious mind, wondering at the thought process that has relevance even today...I reach out to the Bible not to question the tenets of Christianity but to wonder how people have evolved...how thought processes have evolved. I look at religion not as anything apart from lessons in history of mankind. And as I marvel so I wonder at the brilliance of our fore-fathers that have created this world on this earth for us.

To end this I am drawn to include this one simple sentence that I heard on a televised version of Mahabharat. It's not who said it that matters...its what is said that matters...and I translate thus...

The world is not fighting because there is no right left...they are fighting because there is no compassion left! Each party believe they are in the right and perhaps they are...but what the world needs is not the Right and the Wrong but COMPASSION.

Think about it...