It's that time of the year again when for some unknown reason we feel a smile hovering over our lips. The year draws to a close and we get ready, few to party, few to study and so on. Yet everyone can feel a strange happiness seep into your body. Try as hard as you can, you feel this invigorating spasms off and on!
Perhaps I am talking about my personal self! Perhaps few of you relate to this and few dont. Yet I recalled the New Year's Eve in Daksh eServices. The holiday season in America and for call centre employees...the rush time. Especially the process I was working for...phew...the call volume was insane. You would end a call and grasp for a breath and the damn avaya would ring again...And then after extended shift when you stepped out into the dark night you felt fog enveloping you in its midst. With shiver running through your spine you could almost feel....ALIVE.
I remember clearly that new year's eve...i was one of the unlucky one's who was working. Well....My shift started at 11:00 p.m...the constant chatter was on, the moment I logged in...I knew...I would be fighting for a minute's breath. Nonethless the calls started pouring. THe workstation was abuzz, the bays jingling away in a variety of accents. Few were standing, few sitting on the carpeted floor. I could see many jumping up with excitement. As we kept chattering we saw our team leaders busy in their own worry. Then I saw my team leader going from one team member to another...he was there on my workstation. On the notepad he simply scribbled...
Put him on hold for 2 minutes on 11:59
And then it was that time, the workfloor was on hold for 2 minutes....those who had no calls were on AUX, and those who were entertaining a call politely on some pretext put the customers on hold. And there it was...the countdown, the synchronized chant which happens when people just murmur the counting...the excitement was building and then the workfloor was screaming...It was a New Year....We shouted, wished one and all a Happy New Year and it was time to get back to work. Within seconds the chatter was back to that constant glub of nothingness, a bunch of whispers. People who had shouted a minute ago were now lazing back on their chairs while trying to explain a plan to a customer.
I don't know how i felt at that particular moment....I dont remember how I cursed Daksh for making me work on New Year's Eve...all I remember is that one moment when we were all a big family, from various parts of the country...we were not hindu or muslim or christian....we were just one...enjoying the end of an year and beginning of another...I just remember that one moment that brought a wide smile on my face....
the two seconds....
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
The Night Out
Through this blog, I had endeavoured to bring call centres back to life. Since its inception I had been wanting to write something about them that required a lot of courage. What is amazing about this place is the people who walk there. These people, of various shapes and sizes are just perfectly amiable, well mannered and most importantly, totally independent! And what's best...SEX is not a taboo! People do it and some dont. Yet every one talks about it. With a smile yes but never with a smirk. The darkest and truest side of call centres...
“Have had enough.” She said, her voice slurred as she put the glass back on the table.
“Of what?” He asked and she looked at him. If only she could somehow wipe the silly smile off his face. The whole night he had done nothing but flirt with her friend. Looking at Meenakshi, all huddled on one side of the bed, Megha raised her eyebrows several notches.
“What do you think Sam?”
He shrugged his shoulders and looked at the people who had dozed off at various places. Nikhilesh was snoring blissfully, slumped in an awkward position on the sofa. So were Sumit and Priyank. The worst or perhaps the best off was Meenakshi, sleeping peacefully in the blanket on one corner of the bed.
“I don’t know. Shed some light…Won’t you?”
“All right. Enough of drinks…In case you want to continue then you do that alone!”
He chukled and sipped on his rum. He looked at the girl with admiration. It had been a good night out…and she was one person who had managed to stay sane while everyone else had gotten drunk and dozed off for the rest of the night. She was dressed in a simple track pant and a black spaghetti. A thin shawl acted as the only deterrent. Now that Meenakshi was asleep he looked at Megha with fresh vigor. Meenakshi was without a doubt a pretty female. With long straight hair and a mole on the chin, she was just perfect for flirting. Yet Megha was different. Her hair were straight and tied in a casual bun. A few strands escaped to fall on her face now glowing under the bulb. From behind her glasses, big kohl lined eyes looked at you as if reading whatever was going on in your brain.
“Then what do you wish to do Megha?” he asked and she looked at him. God he was good looking, she thought. She wanted so badly to kiss him, hold his hand and…she checked her thoughts and stood up on the bed.
“I am going to the other room to sleep.”
He merely smiled and gestured for her to leave. That was right, Megha thought. It was the only way it ought to be. Yet she so wanted to do the wrong thing. Not every night is a night like this one. She could feel his eyes on her as she left and was suddenly aware of the tension between them. They were surrounded by acquaintances, colleagues at that! Yet they were the only ones who were awake still. And with every passing moment they had been aware of the imbalance surrounding them. The dark night had acted as a catalyst to her thoughts and she could feel a strange numbing sensation in her finger tips as her hands turned ice cold. His head brushed against her legs as she passed him to leave the room and all warmth seemed to leave her body and converge towards the pit of her stomach. A wild thought kept nagging her to turn around and look at him, just one invitation…yet sanity prevailed, much to her dismay and she walked to the other room in their apartment. Her room which she kept immaculately clean. She liked it like that. After leaving her house and deciding to move to the crazy world of call centers and night outs, she had felt an urge to keep a clean room. How, she remembered, her mother used to fuss about the perpetual state of chaos in her room!
She could have latched her door yet she did not. Getting under her own cosy blanket she felt the warmth spreading like sweet chocolate in her veins. She should have flirted with him, she thought crossly and turned on one side. It was no use, she thought and knew that she as waiting for him to come knocking. When her eyelashes finally draped over her eyes she was still contemplating whether she would let him kiss her or not!
It started like a beautiful dream. She could feel his rough hands caress her bare arms and gently move towards her shoulder. And then she heard him call out her name, in a voice that terrified her out of her reverie. It was no dream, she realized as his mouth came down on hers without a warning. Rude shocks of pleasure coursed through her body as warmth started to converge again. This was an experience she was not new to. Yet in the past it was a different thing. She had known Ravi for four months before he had kissed her. And she had known Sam for two weeks! Yet it was a moment she had been secretly hoping for. His kiss deepened and she heard herself moan. And then the alcohol seemed to loose its hold.
“Oh no!” she gasped for air and shook her head violently!
“No Sam…its not right!”
His handsome features showed confusion as he backed away a bit.
“Megha…”
The voice scared her. Never had Ravi’s voice been so thick with need! And it was a delicious thought.
He seemed to control himself finally. Perhaps it was the fear in her eyes, she thought. Her mind raced to put her heart beat at peace yet she knew that it was a fight she wanted to loose. Mind and heart had lost control. Her body had reacted to a pure carnal desire!
She felt him lie down besides her, her back resting against his chest as hands came to hug her from behind.
“Megha are you sure?” he asked, his voice a mere whisper close to her ear. She wasn’t sure anymore of even her next breath. She felt his fingers on her bare back as his lips gently brushed her ear lobes. He was a colleague! She thought and hastened to remind herself that he was more than a colleague! He was her Team Lead…
All logic and morality bade her to say no. It was the only right thing to do. It was all alcohol; she thought and realized that was not true! She was not drunk and she knew neither was he. All she had to do was form the words. Yet it was not easy. Her body loved it immensely. Her skin was savouring his touch as her mind raced to tell her that it was calling trouble at your door step. He kissed her bare back and she closed her eyes, ready to surrender.
“Megha…if you say once I swear I would leave.” His voice was controlled. Rage seemed to boil within her. What was she supposed to say? How was she supposed to answer this question? Why did men ask??? She thought crossly as she turned to look into his eyes in the darkened room.
“One word Megha…” he said and Megha felt her heart jump to her throat. Say No…her mind raced and her body ached and begged her to say yes. Looking into his eyes she said….
I apologise for not telling you what she said! This is to all the flames that have lighted and would continue to light the nights! And also to those who fizzled away without burning and still come back to haunt ;)
Friday, December 15, 2006
Wind Came Knocking on my door....
The sound woke me up. It was a strange sound…maybe it was the door that rattled a bit…or perhaps a lazy swoosh of the curtains that had disturbed my sleep. I lay awake in my bed, still dazed by the sleep, wanting badly to sleep on. The warm blanket was coaxing my eyelids to drape over my eyes again, cooing a comforting lullaby. Yet the sound was there again, a strange whisper of movement. Sighing I sat up, wasting some time to search for my slippers. The chill in the room forced me to grope for the shawl lying by me bedside. Finally I, frowning and grumpy, left my bed. It was a shame to do so at this early hour. Yet the sound was nagging me. It was not unpleasant…just a constant th th that made you feel like shutting it.
The door grumbled again and I hastened towards it. An instinct made me stop, wait for that noise again, wishing it to be a dream. Yet it was there and I took a deep breath. Exhaling slowly I opened the door.
For a second I could not breathe as cold air enveloped me like a cocoon, making me shudder. Forcing my eyes to open I saw her, suspended in the air. A woman so sublime you would miss if you blinked. Floating in front of me she seemed to giggle, blink her eyelashes and vanish. I wasn’t cold anymore. It was all there…wide expanse of absolutely nothing stretched against the inky sky that seemed to turn gold as sun pierced its midst…
I turned and looked at my room that lay in semi darkness, could make out the outline of the bed I have slept on for years now, the counter was decked with books and I could make out the old withered blanket that had warmed me these many winters. The walls were perhaps not the same, neither was the surrounding familiar to the eyes. Yet the feeling was familiar. The wind swooshed down low to my ears and whispered as temple bells started to chime at a distance…
You are home…it said and glided away. I smiled and closed my eyes. Yes…I was home!!!
The door grumbled again and I hastened towards it. An instinct made me stop, wait for that noise again, wishing it to be a dream. Yet it was there and I took a deep breath. Exhaling slowly I opened the door.
For a second I could not breathe as cold air enveloped me like a cocoon, making me shudder. Forcing my eyes to open I saw her, suspended in the air. A woman so sublime you would miss if you blinked. Floating in front of me she seemed to giggle, blink her eyelashes and vanish. I wasn’t cold anymore. It was all there…wide expanse of absolutely nothing stretched against the inky sky that seemed to turn gold as sun pierced its midst…
I turned and looked at my room that lay in semi darkness, could make out the outline of the bed I have slept on for years now, the counter was decked with books and I could make out the old withered blanket that had warmed me these many winters. The walls were perhaps not the same, neither was the surrounding familiar to the eyes. Yet the feeling was familiar. The wind swooshed down low to my ears and whispered as temple bells started to chime at a distance…
You are home…it said and glided away. I smiled and closed my eyes. Yes…I was home!!!
I have recently shifted my house and needless to say Iw as very very upset. Yet after a week it seems...ok I guess. Am still getting used to staying on the 8th floor...yet it feel allright!
I also apologise as i am not a photographer and neither do I have a god camera...this is a pic of the sunset clicked from my humble phone!!!...i guess it gives you as idea...
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The Trainer...Either...Or
While writing the end i was faced with a dilemma...could not decide on the best end...so I leave it to you...Either...Or...
Shweta looked around the rush and felt the constant chatter fill her mind. There was apparently no place she could simply sit and work. She sipped on her coffee and stared warily at the screen of her laptop. As if her misery was not enough her phone was ringing in all its glory all of a sudden and she frowned. Disconnecting the line she picked her pack and extracted a cigarette only to realize that her matchbox had no matches left. Cursing slightly she started to rummage through her purse, hoping against hope to find a spare match box. But then this was an old old bag she had decided to change into. And within seconds she realized she was lucky. In the last pocket, kept in a thin polybag was a matchbox. Taking it out she wondered why it was kept like that and then she remembered. 5 long years...she mused as her fingers glided over the matchbox, remembering the cold night he had given it to her. There had been nothing yet thinking about the man a smile hovered over her lips. She wondered if she would be able to recognize him if he was to come in front of her all of a sudden.
Either
Fate they say has the weirdest sense of timing. One could probably never understand the cosmic forces that bring two strangers face to face. Just the thought was not enough that the man simply walked up the stairs towards where she was sitting. She could not have mistaken him in a million years. 5 years hadn't touched him at all. Still the same strong cheekbone that spoke volumes about the determination, the light gait and most importantly the eyebrows. Thick dark eyebrows...he had been talking on the phone and seemed oblivious of her presence and then he saw her, sitting on the corner, a cigarette poised in her fingers.
"Is that really you?" he asked and Shweta looked around, unsure he had spoken to her. Yet it was more than evident that she was the one who had been addressed.
"Sanjay...hi."
"Shweta...right?" he smiled and she instinctively clutched the matchbox tighter in her palm as she hastily forwarded her other hand for a hand shake.
"What are you doing here?" she asked and he shrugged.
"Just had a couple of hours to myself so decided to grab coffee. And what are you doing here?"
"Oh...just finishing some work...join me?" she asked and he smiled the same wide smile that seemed to reach his dark eyes.
"Sure."
Shweta looked at him from the corner of her eye. He had not changed much. Casually dressed in faded denims and a dark grey t-shirt he could still make her heart flip over to her throat. He seemed completely excited to meet her and she could not imagine the reason. Back then he had shown no emotion. She still remembered how once she had chanced to meet him on the door six months later. He had smiled, inquired after the job, nodded and left. How she had hoped to confess how she felt for him just once before she left yet she had never gotten a chance again. And now after 5 years they were sitting in front of each other outside a coffee shop, he completely at ease with her.
"So...what have you been up to?" he asked and Shweta licked her lips that had dried like her mouth.
"Nothing much. Just working...moved out of call centers long time ago..."
"I know. It has been so long now...I just can't tell you what a pleasant surprise it is."
Shweta could not believe how strongly she had felt for this guy.
"Why are u not lighting it...let me guess...out of lights again?" he asked and with a flourish his lighter was out. Shweta bent forward to light her cigarette choking on the smoke as he continued..."Remember the first time we met...you were out of lights even back then."
Shweta was completely wary by now. He remembered not only her name but their first meeting. Inhaling on the comforting smoke she looked at him. He was ordering for coffee and inquired if she would like another cup. Her coffee had long been cold now. Nodding she looked away.
Presently the cups were placed in front of them and Shweta stared at him, easily stirring the coffee.
“You seem a bit lost,” he asked and she caught herself looking at the cup.
“I don’t know. I mean…you seem so…”
He smiled, his eyes lighting with the gleam she had often seen.
“Different?”
“Well…yes. I mean…I always thought you never even noticed anyone.”
He was smiling like he had never done before, an easy friendly smile.
“Well…I did notice everything. And besides you are a kind of person one can’t help but notice.”
“Whoa…that’s some statement!” Shweta said, relaxing in his company for the first time. This was perhaps the side she had never seen. And she liked it by the minute.
“Well…I have to say…you were definitely loud back then…” his hands moved up in complete surrender as face lighted with a mischievous smile.
“I meant that in a good way,” he added as she gaped.
“Really?”
“Yes…you were easily one of the best trainees I have ever trained. It was fun training you…” the mischief had long been replaced by a sweet smile that was discomforting her.
That was a long time ago; she told herself and sipped on her coffee.
Sanjay stared at her and recalled the vulnerability. A young girl had now been replaced by a woman and some woman she was. How he had often looked at her while she fought with a certain complexity, how she would never give up on anything. Now she was not a colleague, the voice was distinctly his own and he looked at her, sipping peacefully at her coffee. Shaking his head he knew it was too late. Extracting a cigarette he placed it thoughtfully between his lips, his hands searching for the lighter. And luck failed him. The lighter would not work. Sighing he looked around, hoping to find someone who would have a light on him.
“Here…” the matchstick was cupped firmly by beautiful long fingers.
“You had a light?” he asked…taking his first drag and looking at the smile that lighted her features.
“Well…yes. Infact it is yours…”
“Mine?” he asked and she nodded.
“Yup…on the graduation day…remember?’
He remembered clearly. That night he had had a hard time forgetting, for no obvious reasons.
“Here…have a look,” she said and passed on the matchbox.
Sanjay twisted the box and the quote made him smile…
Printed in small red italics were the words…
‘Whatever goes around comes around’
“You know...back in those days I had this huge crush on you…” she was speaking and Sanjay stared on. That was so signature Shweta…right on your face!
Shweta looked at his smile and wondered how strange this meeting was. A certain part of her heart was really happy to meet him yet there was a strange sadness. She did not have any feelings for him now…yet it had been a crush for too long and that was perhaps the cause of the slight uneasiness that had settled in the pit of her stomach.
Sanjay stared hard, trying to understand the thoughts that were playing hide and seek in her eyes. Yet he had no luck. He had always known she had a thing for him…yet to hear the words was a completely different experience. But back then it was not right…and now…
“There you are!” the voice came from behind and Shweta looked at the woman carrying at least five bags in her hands. She was dressed casually in a black long skirt and a peach top that hid nothing of her fine figure. Her hair were neatly tied in a high pony tail and she was certainly addressing Sanjay.
“Hi honey. Guess who I met…” Sanjay was hugging her now and pulling her a chair. She smiled at Shweta.
“Shweta…she was my best trainee in ***. And Shweta meet Nimisha…my fiancée.”
Shweta felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. Why had she told him about her crush? Why now?
“Glad to meet you…” Shweta smiled and kept her coffee aside.
“Well…I better make a move. It was lovely meeting you after such a long time.” Shweta said and stood up.
“Ugh…yeah sure. Do keep in touch…” he said and Shweta smiled.
“Sure…anyhow…congrats to both of you…I am really late.”
Her fingers shook as she picked up her bag and started to move. She felt nothing for him yet it had hurt her…
“Shweta…” he called her name and she turned.
“You forgot this…”
Sanjay was holding the matchbox in his hand and Shweta smiled…”Not again Sanjay.” She said and hastily turned to walk away from him, conscious of the tears that had started to glide down her face now.
Sanjay looked at Nimisha; her eyes alight with the knowledge of what had just happened.
“Shweta…the woman you had a crush on once…right?” she asked and Sanjay looked at the woman in front.
“History Nimisha…Coffee?”
His hands closed around the matchbox. He won’t let go of it…never!
Or
Shweta lighted her cigarette, remembering those cold nights she had stood outside her office, wishing with all her heart to have just enough courage to go and speak with him. Yet at that time he had been so aloof…there was just not enough reason to do that. And besides she had been barely twenty at that time. Now she was wiser and smarter, had a wonderful career stretched out in front of her? Yet…for some reason whenever she went to train a new batch she thought about him…her reason that had motivated her to be a trainer. Sighing she locked on to the internet and searched again…wishing to find some link…some news about that elusive gentleman. Yet they were lost forever now. She had changed her job and finally gotten the opportunity to become a trainer yet it had taken her away from the city for a complete three years. When she did come back…she had no hope of finding him. She still remembered distinctly the way he smiled. Smiling at herself she wrapped her work. She was getting late for a meeting. Her new boss was joining the office today and she was looking forward to meet him. Had not managed to hear much about him except for the fact that he had been in the industry for quite some time now and was an excellent person. She stood up and looked at the matchbox lying on the table top, a contrasting yellow against the dark brown. The red fonts were still visible…reading them again she shook her head and walked away leaving the matchbox. It was time for her to move on…
The man removed his sunglasses and walked towards the empty table. Settling in the chair he extracted a cigarette from his pack and his eyes found the matchbox. It was a box he had not seen for a long time now. An old packing of a famous brand…his long fingers reached out and picked it up, staring at the red fonts gleaming against the yellow backdrop. He remembered keeping a similar matchbox on him most of the times, especially for the quote printed on its back. And one fine night he had passed it over to a very special person. A general gleam lighted the dark eyes as his mind raced back to the girl he had had a hard time forgetting. He still remembered the way she simply understood everything, her mannerisms, the sweet smile and most importantly the complete rebellious attitude when she lighted her cigarette. For some reason he always felt that she had feelings. And there were nights when he had looked at her and wondered he would not have minded reciprocating them. Yet it was not the right thing to do. She was a trainee…a colleague and it was just not right. Besides office relationships were often disastrous. Looking at his watch he decided he should make a move…It did not set a right example if you reach late on your first day of a new job. He looked at the matchbox and without knowing exactly why he grabbed it. For old times sake he thought and moved on holding the matchbox in his hand.
They stared at each other, both lost in a strange battle. How were they supposed to meet each other? They were working again in the same organization…he was her senior she was a colleague.
He hasn’t changed a bit…
God she is still as pretty as ever…
“You still smoke?” he asked and she smiled as they walked up to the roof. The weather was pleasant for this time of the year.
“I can’t tell you what a pleasant surprise it is to see you as a trainer!” he started as he offered a cigarette to her. Accepting she smiled…
“I had very strong motivations!”
She stared as he extracted a yellow matchbox from his pocket and lighted a match, holding it cupped in his hands. Without knowing why her eyes searched and found the red letters printed on the back. As her eyes scanned them again, a smile lighted her face and she lit the cigarette.
It was getting easier and easier to talk with him. The sun was setting beyond the horizon now and it was a signal that their work was about to begin.
“Shall we make a move?” she asked and he nodded. Smiling she walked towards the door. He stood there, musing over his luck. He knew not why he felt so happy at seeing her again…his eyes read the quote again and he smiled…
What goes around comes around
“Sanjay…you coming?” she asked and he looked at her, standing by the door. Damn he thought…she was a colleague.
THE END...........
Shweta looked around the rush and felt the constant chatter fill her mind. There was apparently no place she could simply sit and work. She sipped on her coffee and stared warily at the screen of her laptop. As if her misery was not enough her phone was ringing in all its glory all of a sudden and she frowned. Disconnecting the line she picked her pack and extracted a cigarette only to realize that her matchbox had no matches left. Cursing slightly she started to rummage through her purse, hoping against hope to find a spare match box. But then this was an old old bag she had decided to change into. And within seconds she realized she was lucky. In the last pocket, kept in a thin polybag was a matchbox. Taking it out she wondered why it was kept like that and then she remembered. 5 long years...she mused as her fingers glided over the matchbox, remembering the cold night he had given it to her. There had been nothing yet thinking about the man a smile hovered over her lips. She wondered if she would be able to recognize him if he was to come in front of her all of a sudden.
Either
Fate they say has the weirdest sense of timing. One could probably never understand the cosmic forces that bring two strangers face to face. Just the thought was not enough that the man simply walked up the stairs towards where she was sitting. She could not have mistaken him in a million years. 5 years hadn't touched him at all. Still the same strong cheekbone that spoke volumes about the determination, the light gait and most importantly the eyebrows. Thick dark eyebrows...he had been talking on the phone and seemed oblivious of her presence and then he saw her, sitting on the corner, a cigarette poised in her fingers.
"Is that really you?" he asked and Shweta looked around, unsure he had spoken to her. Yet it was more than evident that she was the one who had been addressed.
"Sanjay...hi."
"Shweta...right?" he smiled and she instinctively clutched the matchbox tighter in her palm as she hastily forwarded her other hand for a hand shake.
"What are you doing here?" she asked and he shrugged.
"Just had a couple of hours to myself so decided to grab coffee. And what are you doing here?"
"Oh...just finishing some work...join me?" she asked and he smiled the same wide smile that seemed to reach his dark eyes.
"Sure."
Shweta looked at him from the corner of her eye. He had not changed much. Casually dressed in faded denims and a dark grey t-shirt he could still make her heart flip over to her throat. He seemed completely excited to meet her and she could not imagine the reason. Back then he had shown no emotion. She still remembered how once she had chanced to meet him on the door six months later. He had smiled, inquired after the job, nodded and left. How she had hoped to confess how she felt for him just once before she left yet she had never gotten a chance again. And now after 5 years they were sitting in front of each other outside a coffee shop, he completely at ease with her.
"So...what have you been up to?" he asked and Shweta licked her lips that had dried like her mouth.
"Nothing much. Just working...moved out of call centers long time ago..."
"I know. It has been so long now...I just can't tell you what a pleasant surprise it is."
Shweta could not believe how strongly she had felt for this guy.
"Why are u not lighting it...let me guess...out of lights again?" he asked and with a flourish his lighter was out. Shweta bent forward to light her cigarette choking on the smoke as he continued..."Remember the first time we met...you were out of lights even back then."
Shweta was completely wary by now. He remembered not only her name but their first meeting. Inhaling on the comforting smoke she looked at him. He was ordering for coffee and inquired if she would like another cup. Her coffee had long been cold now. Nodding she looked away.
Presently the cups were placed in front of them and Shweta stared at him, easily stirring the coffee.
“You seem a bit lost,” he asked and she caught herself looking at the cup.
“I don’t know. I mean…you seem so…”
He smiled, his eyes lighting with the gleam she had often seen.
“Different?”
“Well…yes. I mean…I always thought you never even noticed anyone.”
He was smiling like he had never done before, an easy friendly smile.
“Well…I did notice everything. And besides you are a kind of person one can’t help but notice.”
“Whoa…that’s some statement!” Shweta said, relaxing in his company for the first time. This was perhaps the side she had never seen. And she liked it by the minute.
“Well…I have to say…you were definitely loud back then…” his hands moved up in complete surrender as face lighted with a mischievous smile.
“I meant that in a good way,” he added as she gaped.
“Really?”
“Yes…you were easily one of the best trainees I have ever trained. It was fun training you…” the mischief had long been replaced by a sweet smile that was discomforting her.
That was a long time ago; she told herself and sipped on her coffee.
Sanjay stared at her and recalled the vulnerability. A young girl had now been replaced by a woman and some woman she was. How he had often looked at her while she fought with a certain complexity, how she would never give up on anything. Now she was not a colleague, the voice was distinctly his own and he looked at her, sipping peacefully at her coffee. Shaking his head he knew it was too late. Extracting a cigarette he placed it thoughtfully between his lips, his hands searching for the lighter. And luck failed him. The lighter would not work. Sighing he looked around, hoping to find someone who would have a light on him.
“Here…” the matchstick was cupped firmly by beautiful long fingers.
“You had a light?” he asked…taking his first drag and looking at the smile that lighted her features.
“Well…yes. Infact it is yours…”
“Mine?” he asked and she nodded.
“Yup…on the graduation day…remember?’
He remembered clearly. That night he had had a hard time forgetting, for no obvious reasons.
“Here…have a look,” she said and passed on the matchbox.
Sanjay twisted the box and the quote made him smile…
Printed in small red italics were the words…
‘Whatever goes around comes around’
“You know...back in those days I had this huge crush on you…” she was speaking and Sanjay stared on. That was so signature Shweta…right on your face!
Shweta looked at his smile and wondered how strange this meeting was. A certain part of her heart was really happy to meet him yet there was a strange sadness. She did not have any feelings for him now…yet it had been a crush for too long and that was perhaps the cause of the slight uneasiness that had settled in the pit of her stomach.
Sanjay stared hard, trying to understand the thoughts that were playing hide and seek in her eyes. Yet he had no luck. He had always known she had a thing for him…yet to hear the words was a completely different experience. But back then it was not right…and now…
“There you are!” the voice came from behind and Shweta looked at the woman carrying at least five bags in her hands. She was dressed casually in a black long skirt and a peach top that hid nothing of her fine figure. Her hair were neatly tied in a high pony tail and she was certainly addressing Sanjay.
“Hi honey. Guess who I met…” Sanjay was hugging her now and pulling her a chair. She smiled at Shweta.
“Shweta…she was my best trainee in ***. And Shweta meet Nimisha…my fiancée.”
Shweta felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. Why had she told him about her crush? Why now?
“Glad to meet you…” Shweta smiled and kept her coffee aside.
“Well…I better make a move. It was lovely meeting you after such a long time.” Shweta said and stood up.
“Ugh…yeah sure. Do keep in touch…” he said and Shweta smiled.
“Sure…anyhow…congrats to both of you…I am really late.”
Her fingers shook as she picked up her bag and started to move. She felt nothing for him yet it had hurt her…
“Shweta…” he called her name and she turned.
“You forgot this…”
Sanjay was holding the matchbox in his hand and Shweta smiled…”Not again Sanjay.” She said and hastily turned to walk away from him, conscious of the tears that had started to glide down her face now.
Sanjay looked at Nimisha; her eyes alight with the knowledge of what had just happened.
“Shweta…the woman you had a crush on once…right?” she asked and Sanjay looked at the woman in front.
“History Nimisha…Coffee?”
His hands closed around the matchbox. He won’t let go of it…never!
Or
Shweta lighted her cigarette, remembering those cold nights she had stood outside her office, wishing with all her heart to have just enough courage to go and speak with him. Yet at that time he had been so aloof…there was just not enough reason to do that. And besides she had been barely twenty at that time. Now she was wiser and smarter, had a wonderful career stretched out in front of her? Yet…for some reason whenever she went to train a new batch she thought about him…her reason that had motivated her to be a trainer. Sighing she locked on to the internet and searched again…wishing to find some link…some news about that elusive gentleman. Yet they were lost forever now. She had changed her job and finally gotten the opportunity to become a trainer yet it had taken her away from the city for a complete three years. When she did come back…she had no hope of finding him. She still remembered distinctly the way he smiled. Smiling at herself she wrapped her work. She was getting late for a meeting. Her new boss was joining the office today and she was looking forward to meet him. Had not managed to hear much about him except for the fact that he had been in the industry for quite some time now and was an excellent person. She stood up and looked at the matchbox lying on the table top, a contrasting yellow against the dark brown. The red fonts were still visible…reading them again she shook her head and walked away leaving the matchbox. It was time for her to move on…
The man removed his sunglasses and walked towards the empty table. Settling in the chair he extracted a cigarette from his pack and his eyes found the matchbox. It was a box he had not seen for a long time now. An old packing of a famous brand…his long fingers reached out and picked it up, staring at the red fonts gleaming against the yellow backdrop. He remembered keeping a similar matchbox on him most of the times, especially for the quote printed on its back. And one fine night he had passed it over to a very special person. A general gleam lighted the dark eyes as his mind raced back to the girl he had had a hard time forgetting. He still remembered the way she simply understood everything, her mannerisms, the sweet smile and most importantly the complete rebellious attitude when she lighted her cigarette. For some reason he always felt that she had feelings. And there were nights when he had looked at her and wondered he would not have minded reciprocating them. Yet it was not the right thing to do. She was a trainee…a colleague and it was just not right. Besides office relationships were often disastrous. Looking at his watch he decided he should make a move…It did not set a right example if you reach late on your first day of a new job. He looked at the matchbox and without knowing exactly why he grabbed it. For old times sake he thought and moved on holding the matchbox in his hand.
They stared at each other, both lost in a strange battle. How were they supposed to meet each other? They were working again in the same organization…he was her senior she was a colleague.
He hasn’t changed a bit…
God she is still as pretty as ever…
“You still smoke?” he asked and she smiled as they walked up to the roof. The weather was pleasant for this time of the year.
“I can’t tell you what a pleasant surprise it is to see you as a trainer!” he started as he offered a cigarette to her. Accepting she smiled…
“I had very strong motivations!”
She stared as he extracted a yellow matchbox from his pocket and lighted a match, holding it cupped in his hands. Without knowing why her eyes searched and found the red letters printed on the back. As her eyes scanned them again, a smile lighted her face and she lit the cigarette.
It was getting easier and easier to talk with him. The sun was setting beyond the horizon now and it was a signal that their work was about to begin.
“Shall we make a move?” she asked and he nodded. Smiling she walked towards the door. He stood there, musing over his luck. He knew not why he felt so happy at seeing her again…his eyes read the quote again and he smiled…
What goes around comes around
“Sanjay…you coming?” she asked and he looked at her, standing by the door. Damn he thought…she was a colleague.
THE END...........
Monday, December 04, 2006
The Trainer...contd.
There are a few days in every woman's life when she feels perpetual happiness. The days when she believes herself to be in love! Shweta, was certain she could never think of any other man. And there was just something about this man that kept her wondering. Quickly her life had fallen into the routine. Her cab reached a good ten mintes before his' arrived. She would rush to the coffee vending machine, grab her cup and rush out again just to catch a glimpse of him as he descended from his cab. He always smiled but never really stayed on to chat. The customary smile, the informal nod and the small talk before he moved away. Shweta could not find any fault in him. As a trainer he was just perfect. She heard with complete attention as he explained the technicalities. She always believed herself to be bad with computers yet with him around she was learning quickly. There were those days however when he was a bit too near for comfort, explaining the step ahead on her workstation. She had noticed everything about him. The way he seldom smiled during class, the uncanny sparkle in his eyes whenever he laughed. The way he stood, completely at ease with himself, his steady walk, the thick baritone voice cultured to perfection and not to mention heady whiff of soap.
Soon Shweta felt the uneasiness settle in the pit of her stomach. She had never realized when the thirty day training period had dwindled away and she was all set to hit the floor as they called it. She knew she had done well...there was not one person who had matched up to her knowledge of the process yet she was unsure of the next day. The party had been everything she had not expected...a whole lot of fun. They had danced till their heels hurt, had toasted to every single state in US of A...yet somehow as she moved out into the still cold night she felt completely drained. She felt anger surge through her as she realized she was out of matches.
"Here...let me help you," the voice was close by and Shweta had no need to look. She bent and felt his thumb gently brush against her cheeks, took a long puff and moved away, looking towards him light his own cigarette.
"Congrats..." he said and she smiled.
"Well. Thanks...I just doubt whether i really deserve it!"
"Of course you do. You were the best." he said and Shweta dared to look into his eyes, the frankness too palpable.
"Uh...I just..."
"Don't worry Shweta...you would do just fine...I know it." he said and Shweta knew he was about to leave again. There was no one outside smoking so she did have the opportunity of standing close to him. She would not be able to meet him now, maybe not even see him. At that moment perhaps Shweta should have told him yet courage seemed to fail her. She puffed away silently, feeling sadness engulf her.
"That's my cab." he said and Shweta looked around.
"You are not staying longer?"
He hesitated for just a second and Shweta felt he knew but then he smiled and she was unsure again.
"I am not getting the weekend off...you enjoy the party and all the best. I know you would do well."
Her smile died as he turned away and started walking out of the premises. That was it...Shweta thought silently and wondered...
"Hey Sanjay," she called and he turned.
She wanted to tell him she completely adored him, wondered if they could have something more than just a polite hi and bye? Yet somehow courage left her door that instant and she smiled...
"Could you lend me the matchbox?" she asked and Sanjay smiled, took it out casually and flipped it towards her and was gone. Shweta stared at the small box. It was an AIM box and nimbly she flipped it around to read the small quotes it was famous for. A tear trickled down her face as she wrapped her fingers around it. She instantly knew that she would never let go of this matchbox...
concluding part on Wed 6th dec 06
Soon Shweta felt the uneasiness settle in the pit of her stomach. She had never realized when the thirty day training period had dwindled away and she was all set to hit the floor as they called it. She knew she had done well...there was not one person who had matched up to her knowledge of the process yet she was unsure of the next day. The party had been everything she had not expected...a whole lot of fun. They had danced till their heels hurt, had toasted to every single state in US of A...yet somehow as she moved out into the still cold night she felt completely drained. She felt anger surge through her as she realized she was out of matches.
"Here...let me help you," the voice was close by and Shweta had no need to look. She bent and felt his thumb gently brush against her cheeks, took a long puff and moved away, looking towards him light his own cigarette.
"Congrats..." he said and she smiled.
"Well. Thanks...I just doubt whether i really deserve it!"
"Of course you do. You were the best." he said and Shweta dared to look into his eyes, the frankness too palpable.
"Uh...I just..."
"Don't worry Shweta...you would do just fine...I know it." he said and Shweta knew he was about to leave again. There was no one outside smoking so she did have the opportunity of standing close to him. She would not be able to meet him now, maybe not even see him. At that moment perhaps Shweta should have told him yet courage seemed to fail her. She puffed away silently, feeling sadness engulf her.
"That's my cab." he said and Shweta looked around.
"You are not staying longer?"
He hesitated for just a second and Shweta felt he knew but then he smiled and she was unsure again.
"I am not getting the weekend off...you enjoy the party and all the best. I know you would do well."
Her smile died as he turned away and started walking out of the premises. That was it...Shweta thought silently and wondered...
"Hey Sanjay," she called and he turned.
She wanted to tell him she completely adored him, wondered if they could have something more than just a polite hi and bye? Yet somehow courage left her door that instant and she smiled...
"Could you lend me the matchbox?" she asked and Sanjay smiled, took it out casually and flipped it towards her and was gone. Shweta stared at the small box. It was an AIM box and nimbly she flipped it around to read the small quotes it was famous for. A tear trickled down her face as she wrapped her fingers around it. She instantly knew that she would never let go of this matchbox...
concluding part on Wed 6th dec 06
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