King of Spades

He stared at her and smiled, his eyes warming up instantly as she gave a glorious warm hearted smile in return.
"What do you think?" she asked and he nodded.
"It's looking amazing!"
"You think so?" she asked again and looked at her reflection in the full length mirror. He moved behind her so that his eyes held hers captive.
"You are so beautiful," he said and she felt tears well up in her own eyes. She could not look anywhere else.
"You make me look beautiful."

The woman stood just round the next counter, a small amused smile on her face. She was aware of the slight pain in her chest as the green eyed monster started to roll its fangs again but she pulled on her sunglasses and looked away. She could not possibly do much about the situation. It was a done deal. She needed to let it all go and move forward in her life. It had been his choice. She had been a nobody...but important to win over. A mere card...and as he always said...It does not matter what cards are in your hands...what matters is the cards in the the opponents hands. And she had learned the game from the master. Had seen the way he would set his hand, would make sure he realized the opponent's weakness and then he would strike!
"Alisha...have you ever noticed the King of Spades?" he had asked her one day while they sat sipping on coffee in his bedroom, the cards spread out on the bed.
"Ofcourse I have. What's there to notice?"
"Notice girl...Only the King of Spades looks in the opposite direction...always!"
She stared on as he threw the four kings towards her. It was true she was not too much into cards...that it was only a game...yet she did play on a regular bases.
"King of Spades somehow generates Power. I don't know why he looks in the opposite direction but I presume that it teaches us that if you want power...look where no one else is looking!"
"But..."
"Scared Alisha?" he asked and she shook her head.
"Not scared Sid. Not scared at all."
He smiled and forwarded his hand and she held it without shame. Let him be the King of Spades...she thought.
Bringing herself back to the present she stared on at the two people completely lost in their own small world. He had not changed much when it came to looks. Standing at modest Indian height of 5'10" he was not a Greek god by any standards. Yet there was that coldness in his eyes that could warm you up! And while you basked in the glorious warmth he would sum you up, understand the importance and build his own hand. She had been the Ace...the all important power card for him. Long before she could dream about being the queen she was discarded. He reached his heights and she was left with a pack of cards. She walked around the counter, pointedly ignoring the man she could never truly ignore. Just a chance spotting him in the mall had made her chase him around. She was not prepared to face him. Not yet, she thought and walked out of the shop, her head starting to ache. Desperately she needed to get out of the situation. Desperately she wished to forget she had seen him. It hurt her, to see him nice and happy with another woman. Yes...he would be playing her around too. But what was it in his eyes she had seen? Was it genuine love? It couldn't possibly be that! He was not the kind of men who understood subtle emotions like love. For him it was always about power and money meant power. Once he had left her to explore the glorious heights of success it had been a hard road. It took her time to rebound but she eventually did. Now she had everything a woman could possibly ask for, a comfortable and respectable job in one of the best companies, a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. Yet today, when she saw him, she could not help the bitterness calling up on her again. Entering the darkened bar she felt a bit relaxed. Yes, she could use a drink before she met up with Shantanu.
Sipping on her vodka, she felt memories start to fade against the burning liquid. And then it was not meant to be. The door opened and the very man walked in, accompanied by the woman on his side. She prayed he would not see her yet wished he would. Strangely, her prayers were granted and he walked to the other corner, holding her hand firmly as he did. She looked on at the woman with a critical eye. She was not overtly beautiful for sure. A little plump definitely. And her hair were short, too short for his taste! Gulping down her vodka in one sure swig she removed a cigarette from her pack and lighted it. Her fingers shook slightly as her eyes strayed towards his hands, holding hers across the table. She loved Shantanu...then why was she feeling this way? He was a no one from her past...then why had she jumped when the shadow crossed her path unexpectedly?

To be contd....

Que Sera Sera...Whatever Will be Will be!

"All in good time...All in good time!" he smiled and started walking away again, his face lighted with a benign smile.
"But..." She frowned and he turned to look at her again, his eyebrows quirked.
"But?"
"Well...seriously. Don't you think it is high time already? I mean...how long do I wait? I thought..."
"You thought what?" he asked, sitting on the white chair, his face glowing with amusement and compassion.
"Well don't ask me as if you don't know what I thought! You know everything...and you know what is going on in my mind...in my heart. I just want you to tell me..."
"Its true I know everything. But my child...I want you to tell me nonetheless. I like it when you say it..."
"I though you loved me!" she grumbled and he laughed.
"Well of course I love you. but that does not mean I tell you what would happen next. You have to...like every one else...wait for the right time..."
"But if only you told me then I would..."
"You would do what?" the laughter was replaced by a soft look of concern.
"I would give up hope..."
"Would that be nice? Would life be the same without hope?" he asked and she felt tears burning their way through her lashes.
"But God...why do you wish me to hold on to hope? Why not give up? It would be easier to give up and move on in life."
He looked at her, sitting listlessly on the stone, her face streaming with tears now.
"God...please. The pain...I can't handle it anymore..."
He smiled and shook his head.
"I know you can...I know..."
"How can you know....I..." she stopped and he smiled.
"As you said...I know everything. I do. You just remember...walk your own path...whatever will be...will be. You keep walking..."

Happy Endings!

Sunidhi looked at the boy and girl sitting on the table opposite hers. There was a certain peace about the way the two were sitting, totally relaxed. There was no need to talk. Off and on they would say something and then a comfortable silence would follow as the two smoked away and sipped on their coffee. Picking up her own cup of coffee she felt memories of days gone by come back. It had been a very long time indeed she had thought about them. A smile lighted her face as she wondered there was a time she could not think of a day without him. And then life had decided somethings else for her...she knew she had to walk away...he knew she had to go and she had left him. She still remembered the day she had said Good Bye...

"Please...don't make it so hard for me!" Her voice was barely a whisper. He was holding her hand, had held it for the past hour and a half now.
"You do remember your promise don't you?" he asked, his voice strained, eyes red. He was in pain, she knew it.
"I do. And I would...before you die...trust me I would meet you once...I have to. Because I have to kill you, " she mocked and he smiled and tightened his grip on her hand.
"Why can't I keep you for myself?" he asked and she felt tears forming in her eyes.
"You can't and you won't. I have to go now," she said and tried to move her hand away. He looked into her eyes then and her heart seemed to whisper a silent prayer that things would somehow change...that she would somehow end up with him. She felt it squirming in her chest, begging that he would not let go of her hand, would hold on to it and tell her that he was not ready to give up on this relationship so soon...that he would find a way. He let go of her hand then and she moved away...she was strong enough to get up and leave but she knew she did not have the strength to say Good bye to the only man her heart had ever loved.

Sunidhi shook her head and looked across the table at the man. Her husband of past 17 years. Life had changed so much.
"What are you thinking?" he asked and she shrugged.
"Just days gone by. Sometimes I really wonder...what if I would not have married you? What if I would have married a guy who was totally different from you...say a complete opposite?"
"Well...either he would have killed himself or you would have killed him."
"And why is that?"
He looked at her, his eyes mocking her.
"Well...because you would have wished to be with me. So we would have run away and out of depression he would have killed himself or you would have simply done that to get rid of him."
She shook her head and kept the coffee cup away...
"And why do you think I would have wanted to be with you? I did not love you!"
"Oh I know you don't love me honey...it's just that you made a promise once...and that was that you would kill me!"
The wind started to glide around in happy circles. Sunidhi raised the cup in salute and sat back, a smile on her face. She had never said good bye...Some love stories, she thought, were not meant to reach a happy end...and some...like hers...somehow did!

Accomplished Woman!

“Your list of the common extent of accomplishments,” said Darcy, "has too much truth. The word is applied to many a woman who deserves it no otherwise than by netting a purse or covering a screen. But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of ladies in general. I cannot boast of knowing more than half-a-dozen, in the whole range of my acquaintance, that are really accomplished.”

“Nor I, I am sure,” said Miss Bingley.

“Then,” observed Elizabeth, “you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman.”

“Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it.”

“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

“I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any.”

I cannot do any justice to women other than bring forward this small all time favorites. A conversation between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett...who does not know of these characters I ask. It brings about the character of two very different women, of a man's idea of a woman. Today as I sit and wish all women a Very Happy Women's day, I just wish to ask one question...

If Darcy's idea of an accomplished woman is considered...no doubt we would be able to point out so many of them...However...Can you truly think of one who is not accomplished?

In My Element!

A very strange incident once made me wonder just how fascinated I am with the color that is actually not a color. Black...the color of the night...the color that brings to me the feeling of being home. Comfort is what the color inspires in me. And today with Holi just round the corner I shall talk about my color...my element...about Black!
I knew Black was always there but when my best friend started noticing that every birthday I wore nothing but black I knew it was something I was really partial to. And then my mum started complaining that I wore nothing but black. So much so was the love that when after two odd years i chanced to meet an old friend from Hughes he remembered that Black was my favorite color, promptly telling me that he never saw me in any other color! My MBA days were totally black...a friend once threatened me that if I wore black another day she would tear my suit or perhaps burn a hole in it! Yet off late I went away from Black. As I say...i got deviated and it was majorly because it is not appropriate to wear black to office and everything of the sort! My blacks were now limited to expensive suits meant to be worn on special occasions. My wardrobe which had at one point of time no other color than black went blue, mustard, green, purple, red and god knows what all. Slowly black retrieved into one corner and that was that! Two days ago I went back to my element. I was completely black and I knew...I was home. People perhaps wonder what is with this strange fascination with Black. And I try and explain to them what black means to me.

Black is everything in itself...a beginning and an end...black is life, black is love...many would frown at me associating black with love but somehow in their hearts they would agree...its that void that is complete, its that chaos that brings peace...its that state of confusion that brings contentment in its wake...its that color that makes everything equal...for when lights cease....everything is nothing but Black!

Black for me signifies the three most important words...Hope...of a bright morning after the dark night...
Faith...in that power which is as empty yet as whole as the color...
And Love...the essence of life...the darkest and most primitive emotion whose two extremes are Black! the emotion that negates light and make everyone equal...

Here is wishing everyone a Very Happy Holi...