Life...

She sighed and groped for the glass of water, wondering why the screen was blurring so much. And then the tear trickled down her cheek...they had come knocking again. Yet she did not hate them. Like many people though she hoped that no one would see them. Glad that no one had noticed, she silently logged out and made her way to the roof.
Crossing the cafeteria she saw few colleagues sipping leisurely on their coffee at the Barista counter, few were otherwise busy eating and few more were talking on the phone. She felt a smile light her face. Some people could talk for endless hours...and it was 4 in the morning.

Warm breeze greeted her as she stepped out. Thankfully it was empty bar a man busy on his mobile and puffing away his cigarette. He wouldn't notice her, she thought and went towards the other side, putting the blanket of darkness between them to ensure nothing was visible. There, all alone she would be able to smoke in peace and cry. She had been trying hard to keep her cool but it was becoming all too difficult. He wasn't coming back, she thought and closed her eyes.
The cigarette was quick. Within seconds she felt the tears subsiding and her heart coming back to terms with the present.
"It is not going to help for long...you do know that...don't you?" the voice had no source. It was just there, the same husky baritone she had grown up loving. He was there, a cigarette in his hand, face lighted by his kind smile.
"My secret," he said and she smiled.
"I know. Ma told me."
He nodded and sat on the stair.
"Life goes on..."
"What if you don't want it to?" she asked bitterly and he smiled.
"You can't help it."
"I don't want to live. you know i don't. I just want to run away...from all of this..."
"Where would you run?" he asked patiently and she sighed.
"To a place where nothing would hurt anymore. Where I can live in ignorance of the pain of loving and loosing someone."
"Have you lost me?" he asked, his face blurring as tears filled her eyes.

The voice died away into the silence of her steady heartbeat. The tears were not there anymore. Yes she would never be able to hug him again, never feel his arms go around her in that comforting manner, would never feel his kiss on her forehead, would never have him reprimand her on being late or being stubborn. But she still had him...

She looked at the fading sky and found the star, shimmering in the dying night.
Barely two months ago her life had taken such a turn. She smiled from amidst her watery eyes as her lips moved in a whisper, "Happy Birthday Papa..."