A Dash of Color...

He stared at the mountains stretched out at his feet, mighty peaks looking subdued in the pale moonlight. Everything was just a strange shade of grey. The world of no colors, he thought and settled on the boulder, his eyes drinking in the silence as light frisked from one peak to another. Two lovers dancing around. The clouds tantalizing his senses, he closed his eyes and felt the cool comfort. Like a child in his mother's womb...a blissful feeling of contentment and security seemed to envelop him. He looked again and felt memories rushing in from all corners. Sweet memories laced with just a bit of sadness. Droplets of good old memories that seemed to trickle down to his lashes as a wet smile hovered on his lips. Life, he thought...life was good!

It was a gentle murmur of wind that woke him. Groping for his pack of cigarettes he fumble out of the tent. there was a light chill in the air and he soon realised why! The world had come to life. Clouds danced around the peaks, gliding like a young girl, playful and tantalizing. The sky seemed to peak from behind the white cover, a glorious blue as serene and subtle as mother's smile. Green peaks sprinkled with brown corners. Leaves fluttering as clouds gently touched them...The warm sun seemed to smile down, as clouds rendered a constant view of shade and light. Hope seemed to fill his heart. If the night had made him think of a mother's womb, the day prodded him on like a reassuring father. As eyes sparkled with hope and heart filled with joy he knew...Life is good!!!

(Going through Deepak's snaps is always a treat. For they seem to transport me from my seat to all these beautiful locales and imagination springs up. And when I saw these two snaps I could only wonder...How a Dash of color changes life....)

Thanks to Deepak!!!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

Deepanita struggled with the yawn, trying hard to keep her eyes open. But it was a futile attempt. Right after the weekoffs it was the same thing. No matter how hard you tried, the darn eyes refused to stay open. And the it did not matter whether you were talking on the phone or not...sleep would somehow take over. Finally the old lady hung up and she threw the headphones on the table. All she wanted was to take a nap...a small cat nap that should fix her up.
"Wake up girl!" Nimesh shook her slightly and she opened her eyes to notice the red light go up. Hastily she replaced the head phones and was speaking again, the same line time and again. To her relief it was merely a transfer call and she hastened to oblige. If this continued she would get a bad C-Sat cause the chances were any minute now she would doze off.
"Sleepy?" Nimesh asked and she turned to look at her Team Leader sitting on her left, staring at her. He was a sweet guy, she thought looking with amusement as she noticed how he managed to fit into a chair, all cross legged.
"Very..." she said and he smiled.
"Go get coffee..." he said and she shook her head.
"Nahin yaar...it won't help."
"It would...come on now...u have a half hour log out left...haven't you?"
"Yes...should I take a break now? I still have 15 minutes to that..."
"Do it before the damn thing rings again..."
That was enough. Deepanita rushed through the series of numbers on her Avaya and stood up. Nimesh was already standing, waiting patiently for her. But not much patience was required. It hardly took her a minute to lock her computer and log off from the Avaya, gather her purse and stand. He was amused how quickly the person could log out. Beginning of the shift was the biggest ordeal for Nimesh. He had to keep calling people to log in...but give them an opportunity to log off...hardly a minute...But he was not going to say anything about it...after all....he had been there...done that!

They walked to the terrace, the cups in hand. It was a warm night and the transition from the centrally air conditioned office was strangely refreshing. The light breeze seemed to comfort the mind and feel fresh against the chilled skin.
"Hows life?" Nimesh asked and Deepanita shrugged.
"Its the same. The same old Avaya and the same old customers..."
"And the same sleep...Still sleepy?" he asked and Deepanita nodded. Her head felt heavy and eyelashes were being forced to stay apart.
"How come you are always so fresh?" she asked and waited while he lighted his cigarette.
"Habit I guess."
"Its a bad habit. One should not get used to staying up all night!" Deepanita joked and was rewarded a smile.
"Right. But we all must do so...it really does not matter Deepanita. All you need to understand is that we are operating in a no sun land!"
Deepanita sipped on her coffee and waited for her brain to formulate a reply. But all she could really think of was a bed. That was all she really needed...a nice warm bed. If only...
"Drink up." he said and she dutifully placed the cup back to her lips. It was not a nice coffee...truly speaking it was horrible. Yet it seemed to bring a certain relief. She waited for Nimesh to start talking again but he kept mum. There was nothing to say. This was just the time to sip and relax. Coffee finished they walked back inside. She looked at the watch to realize the 30 minutes were all but over. Sleep was calling on to her again as the work floor loomed in front. Yet the floor was all ablaze, instead of the constant murmur, there was a loud banter and it did not take her more than a while to realize that it was an outage. People standing on their workstations, chatting loudly, a distant Avaya ringing, a little silence and then chatter again.
"How long?" Nimesh asked and Adi gave him a wide smile.
"6 hours at least..."
"Great." Nimesh said and Deepanita noticed a certain disappointment in his voice. Amused she walked to her chair and stared at the blank monitor screen, blinking helplessly back at her. 6 hours...another five hours for her shift and this was...it was just perfect. Slumping on her chair she closed her eyes...This would do was the thought that crossed her mind minutes before all sleep left her.

Tete a Tete

It's been a while now that I had a small chit chat with any of us. Talking in stories can get really confusing now...hence this small little post. The past month was an ordeal for Call Center Diaries...the pages paled and withered in the storm and it meant a distorted story and well loads of confusion. And then there came an outage...a moment in time when the brain truly blanked out. Pre and Post that outage I had posted a small story: King of Spades. And a friend promptly pointed that it was way too confusing. And I endeavor to put out the thought in a simple manner...why write a story after all about something that can be discussed?

It goes without saying that all of us sooner or later come across situations in life that tend to shake the very ground we walk upon. Sometimes our beliefs are shattered, our faith questioned and hope destroyed. And during those specs of life we are left thinking and pondering about the magnitude of the problem, the endless maze of unanswered questions. It happened with me recently. I was completely oblivious of the storm that stood by my doorstep and got drastically drenched. But I had to keep walking. As I tried to find my way across I happened to learn a card game. A card game my dad used to be an Ace of and I had never truly cared to learn. But soon I started liking the game for its simplicity. The game of cards counts the points only for the Spades suit and the King of Spades hold the maximum points...13 while the Aces in the game hold a point each. During one game while I sat engrossed in my worries...about life and how to win the game I realized I had all the big cards...but what was the point? I was loosing all of them for I did not have the smaller cards in my hand. And I just ventured...It is the not big cards that can make you win a game...its the smaller cards.

And the thought stayed. The fact that if I was to use a metaphor and associate a deck of cards with life...then what I needed to do was try and win the game. And I had to concentrate on the seemingly smaller cards! In other words...I had to think about the things that look like a small problem and usually left unattended. These small problems usually hold the key to the larger problems. With this thought also came the thought that like the problems...it is also true for happiness. A thing often repeated by many is that happiness comes in small packages. We all go about our life, trying to attain that elusive happiness by means of big things...yet in the end the true happiness comes with the smallest of the things. A small smile, a hug and a pat on the back. Small moments held together makes our lives worth living. We seldom understand that and in the end have only regrets for we tend to let go of the smaller things in life in the thirst for something Big!

King of Spades is a character that is present in all of us. In varying amounts, yet very much present. the story was only a metaphor...it only went out to sell the idea that we might be unknowingly letting go of the only thing that truly makes us happy...

What say?

King of Spades II

Alisha tried to keep her mind focussed on her drink, yet it was not a possibility. Her eyes strayed towards the couple and her heart let out a whimper everytime his hand went on to hold hers' across the table. What was it she was feeling? She wish she could put a name to the feeling. For it was not regret, neither jealousy and definitely not love. Just a searing pain she had long forgotten about. She stayed put, sipping on her drink and wishing for him to leave so she could leave too. And finally he did, holding the door for the woman before following her out. Heaving a sigh of relief she waited for another ten minutes and left. The mall was still crowded but the face was nowhere to be seen. She felt anger surge up...if he could simply walk around not even noticing she moved in the same place, then why should she be so very apprehensive about he spotting her. It would be good in case he did, would only be right if she ignored him too, just the way he had been too oblivious of her presence. Still deciding whether to take the elevators or the escalators she felt someone come and stand right beside her.
"Running away are we?" the voice was too close and too familiar. And he was there, his smile plastered on his face, brows quirked in plain mockery.
"Sidharth...I..."
"How are you Alisha?" he asked, looking in her eyes and holding them captive. And she knew she was mesmerized again.
"I am good."
"You look great..."
Anger mingled with confusion gripped her heart. She should have turned and walked away, perhaps smiled a polite apology and ran as far as she could. But she did nothing of the order...instead she felt her tongue stick to the top of her mouth as her lips dried instantaneously. He was removing the strand of hair from her face and she felt her knees melt under his touch.
"How about a cup of coffee? Would help to knock out the drinks you had..."
"How..."
"I don't have to look to know you are there Alisha. Coffee?" he asked again and then he was guiding the way to the escalators. She waited for a minute, glued to her spot, wondering how he presumed she would say yes. And the voice was prodding her...Wouldn't she? And she was following him again, drawn like a pin to the magnet.

"It's been a long time!" Sid was speaking, no strain in his voice, no visible regret or qualms. As comfortable as meeting a very old dear friend who had lost touch over time.
Alisha looked at the man in bewilderment. How could he do this? How could he act as if he had never done anything wrong to her? How could he sit in front of her and treat her as if she was a long lost friend? why was he not as flurried as she was? But then why would he be upset? He had never loved her...
"What are we doing here?" she asked and he frowned.
"Presently waiting for our coffee!"
"Sid...you know what I mean?"
"Oh come now Alisha...we have grown up...haven't we? Let's just enjoy our coffee...why do you want to beat yourself up for such a small thing?"
"It is not a small thing Sid. The way you used me..."
He waited for her to complete the sentence but she never did that. It was not what she wanted to say. Perhaps she would have liked slapping him, calling him names but then...something else resurfaced without a warning. Something she thought she never really had until Sid had walked into her life.
"Alright...let's talk. How have you been? Where have you been?"
He smiled and waited as their coffee was placed in front of them. Once they were alone again he looked at her, his smile subtle and warm.
"Have been where I was when you left me."
"Sid..."
"You did leave me Alisha...just left me..."
"You are blaming me?" the bitterness was back, pain increasing with every passing second.
"What was I supposed to do Sid? Watch as you pranced about with that woman trying to get her...I loved you!"
"You loved me?" he asked, the sarcasm cutting her like a knife.
"Yes. I did...not anymore Sid..."
He sipped on his coffee and waited for her to settle down.
"Why were you surprised? More importantly...I was always honest with you Alisha. You knew what I wanted out of life...knew how important that woman could have been...then why?"
"Sid you are a sleaze ball." She said and looked away.
"No Alisha. I was practical. I am practical. But I never lied to you when I said I love you...and you know that!"
"Love? You can not love anyone but yourself. I was important to you...but you never loved me."
Sidharth stared at her and she felt tremors of shock run through her.
"I did...I needed you by my side Alisha...I wanted you to stay by my side...but you left me. But I am not blaming you..."
She smirked and looked at him. She had never detested him more than this.
"Sid...you stood me up. We were planning to get married..."
"The time was not right. I needed to play it right..."
"Life, Sid, is not a game of cards. I hope you realize that some day." Alisha was calm now, completely at ease with the situation. Strangely it felt ok to say anything now. And she wanted to say whatever she never got a chance to.
"It is Alisha...I thought you understood that!"
"You and your stupid theories. So who is the new woman?" Alisha asked, wishing to find something to hate him more.
"Deepika."
"Your..."
He looked at her, his eyes trying to read the emotions on her face.
"To be wife..."
"Ah!" she said and sat back on her chair.
"How much is she worth?" she asked and he laughed.
"I really like her Alisha..."
"Cut the crap...how much?"
"Her dad owns the company I work in."
Alisha felt a strange contentment flow through her heart. It was not love...she was right all along...he was not capable of love.
"I miss you Alisha. I really do."
"Oh don't give me that Sid. Not again...I am happily married and sick and tired of stupid power games. And besides I can't give you anything more than I already did..."
Alisha looked at her watch and then again at him, his face masked.
"Thanks for the coffee Sid. And don't come after me...as you said...I am only the Ace...a card you can easily do without!"
With that she stood up and left as tears fell down her cheeks. He should never see them...for he would interpret them again as tears of lost love. But they were tears of betrayal her heart had to endure and finally it was over.

Sid lighted his cigarette as he looked at the woman walking away, her head held high. He had seen her at the shop, his eyes had followed her as she entered the pub and he had been acutely aware of her presence in the same room. Deepika had been too surprised at his obvious devotion to her. How was she to understand that it had meant nothing...he kept looking at the woman he had mercilessly thrown away, only too late to realize she meant everything to him. How wrong he was...running after bigger cards to win the game...How did he forget...It was not the big cards that won the game...It was the set of smaller cards...and he had thrown the most powerful of them all...His Ace of Spades...